Finding JOY in my Journey

Many of you know that 13 weeks ago, on Feb. 4, 2010, my life changed as I know it. Being a mother is truly my greatest joy. After having my 3 children my body was left broken and surgery was needed to repair me. The result of this surgery made it no longer possible for me to bear any more of my own children. At 32 years old, I was in shock that I would need a hysterectomy to heal me but it was needed. As you know the surgery went perfectly. My healing went better than expected. As I was grasping the fact of the new changed me, I needed a goal to aim for. Something BIG to set my sights on and not let myself wallow in self pity and sadness over my loss.


After surgery my 1st GOAL was to obey all the Dr's orders, stay positive and get moving as soon as possible. I walked little by little each day. This lifted my spirits & I felt better physically, emotionally and spiritually. I believe exercise and fresh air is CRUCIAL to a healthy & happy Loree and for you too :) Getting my blood pumping & releasing those endorphins is what I needed. Anyway, when the Dr. said I could start swimming at 2 weeks post opp. I swam pretty much everyday. It was low impact and I loved it!!!


I mustered up the courage and took it to the next level for me. GOAL #2... Conquer a Fear!!!  I joined the Mesa Masters Aquatics Club to celebrate 6 weeks of recovery. ( I know faithful followers this is NOT new news...but I have a point and am getting there...keep reading ;)  Joining the Masters Swim Team has been such a great experience for me. I feel so blessed meeting amazing women and making new friends. They are inspiring and challenge me. The same week I joined masters, I heard of an all women Triathlon that would be held in Tempe in May. I knew that this event would be just the "MEDICINE" I needed for my recovery. I signed up for the tri the same day I joined Team Narwhal and GOAL #3 was underway... She Rox Tri here I come!!  I was training and striving for this goal everyday. I was nervous & worried that I wouldn't be physically ready for it since I would only have 6 weeks to train for the run and get back on my bike. Thankfully I have been blessed with my awesome hubby & great encouraging friends who believed in me and helped me to find my confidence. I courageously challenged myself 10 days ago with my first open water swim at Saguaro Lake in preparation for the Big Race Day...SHE ROX....It was quickly approaching. I felt ready and excited to conquer Goal #3.


Then last Monday, May 3rd...tragedy struck our family. My beloved and AMAZING Aunt June Gordon passed away. This strong lady battled diabetes for many many years. She had a heart attack and needed heart surgery. It would be a very risky surgery. She would only have 50/50 chance. Through a miracle she survived the surgery but her body was too weak to recover. She died peacefully last monday afternoon. It was such a sad blow for our entire family. We ALL LOVED Aunt June! How could this be??? She can't be gone! Not yet!!! It is too soon. She is so young! Only 54 years old. Her family needs her. We need her. Many prayers were given in behalf of her husband and her children and grandkids. Prayers of comfort, understanding and peace were needed.

Death is so hard. The only thing that really gives comfort is knowing she is in a better place. She is Free from her sick body. She is reuniting with loved ones who have already past. We know that families can be together forever and we know the plan of salvation which is we will live again. This is not the end. This earth life is just a small part of our journey. I know she is looking down from heaven and rejoicing and wants us to dry our tears and live our life the best we can so we can be reunited again. This knowledge gives me hope and joy even during this sad time. We will for sure miss her everyday! But we can be happy and the Lord's comforting arms can help heal our broken hearts and comfort us. 

My cousin's set up a Facebook page in honor of their mother. Here family & friends could post memories and thoughts about this sweet sweet lady. This is what I wrote about my Aunt June...

 When I think of Aunt June, I think of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! She served and served and served. I love her example of service and love that she so willingly gave over and over again. You could always count on her. She has a special place in my heart and Leonard's too....she was the key to our meeting...Leonard and I...after meeting Leonard at Nathan's Missionary Farewell, I was asked to go on a first date with his handsome stranger.
Aunt June calmed my parents nerves by giving Leonard 2 thumbs up and encouraging me to date him... it was the BEST decision of my life. Thank you Tom and June for Loving my husband as a missionary before I met him and fell deeply in love with him. I am forever grateful for the eternal piece to my puzzle in life you helped me to find. We LOVE YOU and WILL MISS YOU!!!!!!

These are Leonard's remarks:

I will never forget my first day as a greeny missionary in Mesa AZ. After being out all day in the big city...(I am from a ranch in Montana,) my companion brought me to the "best ward missionaries" home...the Gordons. They had it all set up...we opened the door and the entire family water ballooned me...except Aunt June. She just got a really good laugh and I felt like being a missionary was not going to be to rough. After that she was my mission mom for months...she brought us treats, made us dinner, took us to lunch, took care of me when I was sick and just loved us. She is an amazing person and made a great difference in my life. As Loree said, if it wasn't for you Tom and June, we would never had met...thank you so much. I love and miss you Aunt June!

In the midst of this sad news, I still had my triathlon in less than 5 days away.  I had my heart set on it & I was ready! I hoped the funeral would be planned at a time that I could be to both. I held my breath and then learned the funeral would be planned for Saturday May 8th at 10 am. My race was to begin the same day at 7am. I was crushed at first. I did not think it was possible to race and make it to the funeral on time. I was so disappointed. I cried over the loss of my dear aunt and for the sadness & pain her family was feeling. I cried that I wouldn't be able to compete in this triathlon which to me was not just a race but something more deep inside of me. It is hard to explain. Through the challenges I had faced over the past few months this Race was like the next chapter in my "new life". I set a goal and worked and worked to get there and needed to accomplish it.


I was so concerned about the feelings my family would feel when they would find out I would be racing on Saturday. I did not want to seem insensitive or selfish. I cried and cried. I wanted to do what was right. My heart was pulling me in 2 directions. I needed the Lord's help. This weight felt so heavy. I called my good friend and my sister and we talked about my dilemma for a long time.  As we talked, I began to find peace. The Lord knows the desires of my heart and will help me to do the right thing. I would drop everything to be to her funeral, but there may be a way I could do both. I wanted to race in honor of her memory.  I called the race director of Red Rock Co., Mike Melley, and he was kind enough to let me start in an earlier wave. My sister offered to let me shower and get ready at her house after the race. Her home was close to the church were the services would be held. I looked back to my past Triathlon result times and crunched the #'s and really believed I could do this in under 2 hours which would give me just enough time to make it to the funeral by 10 am. My parents offered to watch my kiddos and it all started to fall into place. I felt good about my decision to race and I had faith I would be able to complete it and be there for my family too. I thanked the Lord for his goodness and kindness. I told him if I needed to forfeit my race I would, just let me know.

The butterflies were making their home in my tummy and the nerves were bottling up. I tried to remain calm and feel excited. I tried to push the sadness to the side for just a bit. I am doing this for you Aunt June! I Love you and I will miss you!!!


I did it...She ROX all women Triathlon...Saturday May 8th, 2010... My talented husband Leonard put together his awesome video of my GOAL#3 experience. Be sure to scroll down and pause my music player first! All You ladies ROX!!!



Yes, I am a picture collage junkie and have to write more goodness about this AMAZING Experience!

We were up at 4:30am... I feel sick to my stomach again... I hope and pray I can do this and do this FAST!!! The pressure is on! Checking in.... It is official!!!

Got my She Rox T-Shirt, My # 536, my timing chip... Getting my transition area all ready and meeting up with friends! Let's ROX this ladies :)

Swim Team Friends...Beth, Liz, Judy and My favorite Dr. Hoy's Lady... Laura!!!

Pre-Race Jitters....no better way to help stay calm then to Smile and Breathe!!! My swim coach Laura is the 3rd from the left in royal blue suit. She is Awesome and came in 2nd place in her division. Her first tri in over 11 years and I think she came in 11th place overall!! Isn't she amazing! LOVE HER!

Me and My Sweety! I Love you Leonard! Thanks for believing in me! I couldn't be this NUTS without you! and I wouldn't have it any other way! xoxoxox

Wave 1 - LET's SWIM!!!! So I got to swim with the 25-29 age group. They started 4 minutes before my group. I needed every minute I could get to finish on time :) Thanks again Mike!

On Your Mark, Get Set, GO....... I was so so so so thankful... I did NOT panic at all this swim. I had a prayer in my heart the whole time. I am so glad I got to have a trial run in the lake the weekend before so I could get the panic attack out of the way. PHEW!!!! I started off slow in a good pace and kicked it into high gear toward the finish of the 750 meters...1/2 mile swim....LOVED IT!!!! I felt angels around me the whole race. I swear I could feel aunt june cheering me on from heaven! It was so neat!

I checked the race results saturday night and it had me in 1st place in the swim..... I was thrilled, but then remembered I actually started 4 minutes ahead of my age group. The adjustments have not been made yet. I actually came in 8th place in my age group, but i did SMOKE those young chicks in the  25-29 group! I can't wait for the next race!!!!

Made it to transitions...getting ready to ride.... took me 3 minutes here... something to improve on :) i like it!

ahhhh, My Favorite place to be... on my bike in the early morning :) it was a beautiful morning. In fact, I know the Lord blessed me again this day. It was suppose to be the hottest day yet and while I was racing, the clouds came in the kept me nice and cool! Thank you Heavenly Father! The 13 miles was a good 13. Loved it! I did it in 45 minutes. I could have cranked it harder, but wanted to have enough energy to finish strong. The Run SCARES me :)

Back in transitions to finish her off with a 3 mile run! I was here for about a minute. another goal to shoot for next time :)

Finishing off the last mile over the Mills Bridge. I heard my Lenny shout out my name and I started to get choked up. HOLY COW!!! I am almost done! I did it! Tears started to well up in my eyes and then my windpipe started to constrict.....oh no!!! not now!!! I need to BREATHE!!! Just hold off the tears for   a quarter of a mile and then you are free to cry it out! :)

Sprinting to the finish!!!! & getting my medal.... I LOVE those things!!!!!

I did it!!! I feel so happy!! I can not find words... VICTORY!!!! 

I made record time for me. I finished at 1 hour 37 minutes and 1 second. Time to spare! Thank you Aunt June for sending your angels to help me. I know I was not alone! 

I ROXed it all right!  Happy Day! Time to turn the page in the next chapter in my life! 

Feeling the love with Friends! I love you all! 

This has been such an amazing adventure.  Until next year She ROX!!! Thank You for helping me heal and find joy in my journey!

PS... I made it on time to my Aunt June's Funeral and it was such a beautiful service. She is so loved and will be missed terribly. Her legacy of love, charity, service will live on forever in our hearts and minds! May we live our life a little better each day & look to serve those around us so willingly like my Aunt June.

Jumping for Joy!!!

Yes folks, that is right. The time has finally come! I am literally JUMPING FOR JOY!

I survived my 6 weeks recovery from my Hysterectomy/rebuild surgery. It has been a long road but I made it and I feel like a million bucks!!!

I was counting down the days to jump on the trampoline. I have not been able to jump without serious consequences for years and years!...(you mom's know exactly what I mean.) :)

I am now fixed. Repaired. Unbroken. Happy. Thrilled...The Sky is the Limit for me!!!

I felt like a kid again!! My kids are thrilled to have their mom jump with them too. Jumping is FUN & great exercise too. Speaking of jumping, I also tried jump rope...sweet!!! I can do that too. YIPPEEEE!!!!! I can't believe it! I am so thankful.

During my 6 weeks of healing I walked everyday. At first I hobbled around my house, then to the mailbox and before I knew it 1 mile, 2 miles and topped off at 4 miles at a time and by week 4-5 too. :) My Dr. gave me the A-OK to swim laps at the gym at 2 week post opp and I did, like 4 times a week. It is easy on a healing body and you burn lots of calories at the same time. I was loving swimming so much I couldn't get enough of it. I kept thinking I want to learn more. I only know one stroke...freestyle and I'm not sure I am even doing it correctly.

So how did I learn to swim might you ask????

My sweet hubby wanted to learn how to be a better swimmer and so he read this book. Total Immersion... and guess what...he taught himself to swim. I thought he was pretty good too. That got me thinking.... so 2.5 years ago I was contemplating about competing in my first sprint triathlon...the only problem was, I don't know how to swim. I can get around the pool but real swimming, I had no idea. Leonard was sweet as can be and taught me all the tips he read about in this book and he says " I was a natural swimmer"....why thanks mister ;)
I checked out this book and looked up some swimming tutorials online and I was hooked. I was excited to learn how to swim LONG and STRONG!!! I've done 2 sprint triathlons and the swimming part makes me happy. For the past 2.5 years I have enjoyed doing my laps at the pool and especially LOVE beating the swimmers in the lane next to me...including Leonard ;) hee hee hee!

During this last month of really focusing on swimming, I have decided I am ready for more. I had heard of the Masters Swim Team for adults before and thought about joining and getting real help from a swim coach. But truthfully, I was SCARED!!!! "I don't really know how to swim, I just THINK I do", I would think. I was scared they would say I stink and I should just quit now, cuz you'll never get it. Well the idea of joining the masters has been eating at me since this past summer and last week I finally mustered up enough courage to go for it and try it out.

So last Monday morning March 15th, at 5 AM, I wake to my alarm clock and make the 23 minute drive to this beautiful pool...Kino Jr. High. I take a deep breath as I enter the gates to the pool. I see smiling, friendly faces all saying hello! phew...that part went better than expected. I met my coach Laura...She is AWESOME!! So spunky, bubbly, super welcoming and nice.

We chat for a minute and it's swim time. Luckily for us the pool is heated, but it is still COLD!!! Once you are swimming, no big whoop :) She said I was a natural too. That makes a girl feel good ;)

I woke up at 5 am everyday last week and drove to the pool and swam with the team. It was exciting, challenging & I am getting an excellent workout too. I felt like I was conquering another one of my fears. I feel ALIVE!!!! LOVE IT!

The first week was AWESOME! I have already learned so much and I look forward to learning every stroke and master techniques & speed. :)

I am a Member of the Mesa Masters Swim Club!!!! Team Narwhal!!!!

Bring it BaBY!

I can't wait until my first swim meet...whenever that will be?? :)

All this excitement has got me thinking about my next big adventure. I am a goal minded lady and having a goal, keeps me motivated. What better way to put this "new me" to work then to test it and challenge it....so I registered for my next sprint Triathlon...

I am really excited about this tri. It is an ALL WOMEN Triathlon in Tempe on Saturday May 8th.

1/2 Mile swim in Tempe Town Lake

13.5 Mile Bike

3.1 Mile Run

Let the training begin. So far, I have been on 2 bike rides and they were glorious!!!! I missed my bike!!! I have only run once... but I will get back on my toes asap. i just got cleared for running. It is what I am most worried about, but I know I can do it ;)

So anyone want to join me??? 6 1/2 weeks til go time!!!

Life is GOOD!!!!!

~ A Leave of Absence ~

A 3 week absence from blogging??? WOW!!! You're all suspecting somethings up right? Well it's true! My life has been off the normal routine for a while. My mind, heart, body, soul & spirit have been through the wringer. I wasn't going to blog about IT but IT is a huge part of my life. So I want to share what I have learned and how I depend on the Lord in my life to help me through trials.


MOTHERHOOD!!!! That's huge! I have been blessed to bare 3 children of my own. Bringing human life into this world is NOT an easy feat! We, who have kids know that first hand and those struggling to have babies of their own also know these challenges.


Bringing babies into this world can do a number on a woman's body. Some bounce back while other's suffer. Since Blake was born almost 4 years ago, things DOWN THERE have never been the same. I have lived "kinda broken" for several years. Finally, in November 2009 while at the Dr.'s. I found out in order to heal my body major surgery would be needed to make repairs. The result of this surgery would mean that Leonard & I would never be able to have more children of our own again in this lifetime. Talk about a BOMB that dropped on me that November day. I took the news ok in the doctors office, but as soon as I left & let the word...HYSTERECTOMY...hit me. It hit me hard and I cried! " I'm too young!" I cried! "Why is my body broken???"


Before this news, Leonard & I had pretty much decided together we were done having children. We are very happy with our 3 great kids. But I was not positive we were done for sure. It is a HUGE decision. And now I am faced with this news! I needed some major help from my Heavenly Father to guide and direct my life! I needed Him. I needed His comforting arms more that ever! I needed to know what to do! It's a permanent decision - No changing your mind!
I ached inside to know what do to. It was all I could think about every single day. I began to pray, ponder & search for an answer. I talked to friends & family and women who I love and respect who have faced similar trials! I was learning a lot. But my heart was still troubled! I tried to distract my mind. But this decision hung heavy on me. As with many critical family crossroads we have come to in our 13 years of marriage, I have found that if we do all the we can to come to a decision and then ask the Lord if it is the correct one, He will let me know.


I have always tried to live my life in a way that would be pleasing to my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I would hold off surgery if He wanted me to have more children. The best thing I felt I needed to be was a healthy, happy mama so I can continue my work here on the earth full steam ahead. My body needed healing! In my search for an answer, I found peace and comfort through a priesthood blessing my father gave to me. It was very special & I know the Lord was speaking to me! I also found peace in my heart as I attended the temple.


I had my answer. And I cried over it! I didn't want to have guilt or regrets over this life changing surgery. My heart was at peace. I was still very scared and nervous but I know it is what I needed to do.


So last Thursday Feb. 4th, 2010 - I had a hysterectomy and other repairs to heal my broken body. The Dr. said everything went perfect during the procedure and my body was damaged more than he first realized! Wow, what a blessing to have the medical technology these days and the skilled doctors to cure a sick body. This past week has been a recovery week for me. It has been HARD and painful & challenging. But I know I am not alone! I am so blessed! The Lord is truly looking out for me and brings me peace! I feel relief & I am anxious to get back going 110%. It's gonna be 6-8 weeks before I am free to be the LOREE i want to be. It's gonna be a LOOONG wait for me. I am already itching to hop on my bike for a ride....but of course all that is going to have wait.


When is a good time to put your life on hold for a month or two & just heal??? I don't have time for that! But really, it's been amazing how all this craziness in my life has fallen into place. In Nov. I was released from my busy church calling in Stake YW. I had lots of time to think and concentrate on me and that's when i found out "the news". By the end of Dec I had a couple tests done and knew all my options & had time to focus on what to do & find an answer to my prayers.


My husband's work has been so supportive & were all on board to let him take this whole week to care for me and the kiddos. I've been directed to the couch or my bed to rest, relax, read and heal! NOTHING ELSE!!! He has been MR. MOM 100%! I have been entertained watching him do all my mama work. He has gotten the kids off to school, bathed, fed, picked up the house, made breakfast, lunch & dinner...except for the nights friends have so generously fed us...THANKS!... he's cleaned the kitchen and even swept the floor...i was impressed. He took out the garbage a day early instead of the panic dash when the garbage man is driving down our street. He picked up the house again & again, gathered dirty laundry, sorted it, washed it, folded it AND put it all away! Helped the kids with homework, ran them here and there, wrestled with Blake, picked up the house again ..."man these kids are messy", he tells me. He has dejunked the junk mail pile by the phone and went to a school science camp meeting for me. organized and cleaned his office, fixed stuff around the house. He took me out for a walk and has cared for me in all my needs. He has let me whine and cry if i need. me makes me laugh and it hurts to laugh. But i like to laugh so it is good. He did all this stuff in just one day and everyday it is the same work load. He was beat! I sure love him like crazy! He told me he thought stuff magically gets put away and cleaned and I told him, Yes I am MAGIC ;) I feel appreciated~
I especially loved the fact he jokes with his friends that he thought all i did was watch tv and eat chips all day! HA HA! NICE!!! I loved his bosses response when she said he would be having surgery soon to remove my boot from his backside :) hee hee! good one lyn! :)
It's all good though, of course he is just kidding and he gets to do this long list of "chores" again tomorrow and the next day and the next. I sure got lucky when i found this amazing man! SERIOUSLY! I love you Lenny! you are my world! I wish it was me vacuuming the house and Sweeping the floors :)


And I must say I have been quite spoiled and loved this past week. I have wonderful parents that cared for my kids all last weekend. Great friends who have helped me with the kids while i was at the hospital and has had blake over for play dates. My awesome friends have brought me dinner, phone calls, texts, letters, cards, visits, hugs, treats, goodies, flowers, balloons and sent their thoughts and prayers my way! Thank you all so much! I truly am one blessed lady! I feel loved and I feel happy!


Now I am going to have to learn patience....I am never good at that!!! But I am going to try. I have time to focus on my future. To Heal, to be happy, to look at all my blessings in my life, show the Lord my gratitude. Do my very best to be the best mother I can to my 3 beautiful children who the Lord has entrusted me to raise and to teach. I dedicate my life to serving them, teaching them & loving them more and more each day. I need to teach them kindness, love, hard work, and helping them to realize their divine potential. But I know I can't do this alone. I am going to need help from above. I need to become a master at patience... I'll even like to be B student in the art of patience....I will take it on step at a time. I will find Joy in my Journey! No more looking back - Only Forward!!!


I have Big Plans, Dreams and I look forward to health. I feel changed! I'm a new Mama! I have to be! I have hope and look forward to the future! I know I may have moments of sadness over this permanent change and that is ok. I will be praying for strength & living my life the best I can! There is so much to do and really not much time!

So there we have it.... my family is complete!
Leonard, Loree, Kaitlyn, Carly & Blake! Together Forever!