~ A Leave of Absence ~

A 3 week absence from blogging??? WOW!!! You're all suspecting somethings up right? Well it's true! My life has been off the normal routine for a while. My mind, heart, body, soul & spirit have been through the wringer. I wasn't going to blog about IT but IT is a huge part of my life. So I want to share what I have learned and how I depend on the Lord in my life to help me through trials.


MOTHERHOOD!!!! That's huge! I have been blessed to bare 3 children of my own. Bringing human life into this world is NOT an easy feat! We, who have kids know that first hand and those struggling to have babies of their own also know these challenges.


Bringing babies into this world can do a number on a woman's body. Some bounce back while other's suffer. Since Blake was born almost 4 years ago, things DOWN THERE have never been the same. I have lived "kinda broken" for several years. Finally, in November 2009 while at the Dr.'s. I found out in order to heal my body major surgery would be needed to make repairs. The result of this surgery would mean that Leonard & I would never be able to have more children of our own again in this lifetime. Talk about a BOMB that dropped on me that November day. I took the news ok in the doctors office, but as soon as I left & let the word...HYSTERECTOMY...hit me. It hit me hard and I cried! " I'm too young!" I cried! "Why is my body broken???"


Before this news, Leonard & I had pretty much decided together we were done having children. We are very happy with our 3 great kids. But I was not positive we were done for sure. It is a HUGE decision. And now I am faced with this news! I needed some major help from my Heavenly Father to guide and direct my life! I needed Him. I needed His comforting arms more that ever! I needed to know what to do! It's a permanent decision - No changing your mind!
I ached inside to know what do to. It was all I could think about every single day. I began to pray, ponder & search for an answer. I talked to friends & family and women who I love and respect who have faced similar trials! I was learning a lot. But my heart was still troubled! I tried to distract my mind. But this decision hung heavy on me. As with many critical family crossroads we have come to in our 13 years of marriage, I have found that if we do all the we can to come to a decision and then ask the Lord if it is the correct one, He will let me know.


I have always tried to live my life in a way that would be pleasing to my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I would hold off surgery if He wanted me to have more children. The best thing I felt I needed to be was a healthy, happy mama so I can continue my work here on the earth full steam ahead. My body needed healing! In my search for an answer, I found peace and comfort through a priesthood blessing my father gave to me. It was very special & I know the Lord was speaking to me! I also found peace in my heart as I attended the temple.


I had my answer. And I cried over it! I didn't want to have guilt or regrets over this life changing surgery. My heart was at peace. I was still very scared and nervous but I know it is what I needed to do.


So last Thursday Feb. 4th, 2010 - I had a hysterectomy and other repairs to heal my broken body. The Dr. said everything went perfect during the procedure and my body was damaged more than he first realized! Wow, what a blessing to have the medical technology these days and the skilled doctors to cure a sick body. This past week has been a recovery week for me. It has been HARD and painful & challenging. But I know I am not alone! I am so blessed! The Lord is truly looking out for me and brings me peace! I feel relief & I am anxious to get back going 110%. It's gonna be 6-8 weeks before I am free to be the LOREE i want to be. It's gonna be a LOOONG wait for me. I am already itching to hop on my bike for a ride....but of course all that is going to have wait.


When is a good time to put your life on hold for a month or two & just heal??? I don't have time for that! But really, it's been amazing how all this craziness in my life has fallen into place. In Nov. I was released from my busy church calling in Stake YW. I had lots of time to think and concentrate on me and that's when i found out "the news". By the end of Dec I had a couple tests done and knew all my options & had time to focus on what to do & find an answer to my prayers.


My husband's work has been so supportive & were all on board to let him take this whole week to care for me and the kiddos. I've been directed to the couch or my bed to rest, relax, read and heal! NOTHING ELSE!!! He has been MR. MOM 100%! I have been entertained watching him do all my mama work. He has gotten the kids off to school, bathed, fed, picked up the house, made breakfast, lunch & dinner...except for the nights friends have so generously fed us...THANKS!... he's cleaned the kitchen and even swept the floor...i was impressed. He took out the garbage a day early instead of the panic dash when the garbage man is driving down our street. He picked up the house again & again, gathered dirty laundry, sorted it, washed it, folded it AND put it all away! Helped the kids with homework, ran them here and there, wrestled with Blake, picked up the house again ..."man these kids are messy", he tells me. He has dejunked the junk mail pile by the phone and went to a school science camp meeting for me. organized and cleaned his office, fixed stuff around the house. He took me out for a walk and has cared for me in all my needs. He has let me whine and cry if i need. me makes me laugh and it hurts to laugh. But i like to laugh so it is good. He did all this stuff in just one day and everyday it is the same work load. He was beat! I sure love him like crazy! He told me he thought stuff magically gets put away and cleaned and I told him, Yes I am MAGIC ;) I feel appreciated~
I especially loved the fact he jokes with his friends that he thought all i did was watch tv and eat chips all day! HA HA! NICE!!! I loved his bosses response when she said he would be having surgery soon to remove my boot from his backside :) hee hee! good one lyn! :)
It's all good though, of course he is just kidding and he gets to do this long list of "chores" again tomorrow and the next day and the next. I sure got lucky when i found this amazing man! SERIOUSLY! I love you Lenny! you are my world! I wish it was me vacuuming the house and Sweeping the floors :)


And I must say I have been quite spoiled and loved this past week. I have wonderful parents that cared for my kids all last weekend. Great friends who have helped me with the kids while i was at the hospital and has had blake over for play dates. My awesome friends have brought me dinner, phone calls, texts, letters, cards, visits, hugs, treats, goodies, flowers, balloons and sent their thoughts and prayers my way! Thank you all so much! I truly am one blessed lady! I feel loved and I feel happy!


Now I am going to have to learn patience....I am never good at that!!! But I am going to try. I have time to focus on my future. To Heal, to be happy, to look at all my blessings in my life, show the Lord my gratitude. Do my very best to be the best mother I can to my 3 beautiful children who the Lord has entrusted me to raise and to teach. I dedicate my life to serving them, teaching them & loving them more and more each day. I need to teach them kindness, love, hard work, and helping them to realize their divine potential. But I know I can't do this alone. I am going to need help from above. I need to become a master at patience... I'll even like to be B student in the art of patience....I will take it on step at a time. I will find Joy in my Journey! No more looking back - Only Forward!!!


I have Big Plans, Dreams and I look forward to health. I feel changed! I'm a new Mama! I have to be! I have hope and look forward to the future! I know I may have moments of sadness over this permanent change and that is ok. I will be praying for strength & living my life the best I can! There is so much to do and really not much time!

So there we have it.... my family is complete!
Leonard, Loree, Kaitlyn, Carly & Blake! Together Forever!